“Abuse did not happen to you because you were bad. It did not happen to you because you were irresistibly attractive to or seductive toward an adult.
It happened because an adult made a choice.”
When you were a kid, it was not your responsibility to set or enforce boundaries with the adults around you.
When you were a kid, it was not on you to understand things like an adult, respond to things like an adult, or understand the motives and behavior of the adults around you.
If hurtful things happened to you as a kid, you did not “make” them happen. You did not “let” them happen. You are not responsible for things that happened TO you.
As adults, we read statements like this, and often we intellectually agree— but our gut tells us a different story.
Our gut often tells us that if we were abused or neglected, it MUST be because of something WE did or failed to do.
Our gut often tells us that there MUST have been something we could have done to prevent the bad things from happening…
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