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“To recognise and mourn losses and deprivations: mourning has a key role in attachment-based therapy but denial, the foundation of the avoidant client’s defences, makes it impossible to grieve for experiences of love and safety that were lost, or were never available. We need to find ways to undo denial so the client can confront the reality of his early life and begin to feel the unhappiness and anger he has evaded for so long. Specific memories of crushing experiences often emerge, accompanied by the feelings that had been detached and repressed. This is an important stage in the work. But mourning must eventually come to an end, making way for new possibilities and perspectives.”

Masters in the art of defence:
shame and defences against intimacy
Linda Cundy

ATTACHMENT AND THE DEFENCE AGAINST INTIMACY
Understanding and Working with Avoidant Attachment, Self-Hatred, and Shame
Edited by
Linda Cundy

Nude Academy

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